Challenges of being progressive
I am a progressive individual born in a conservative family in an economically and socially backward regions of India. I am a part of a family shackled in the strong iron pieces to an old school thought process. I never came to knew why I am different from them. Though I learnt from my surroundings, I was also trying to be a better human being side by side in my early days.
Women are treated with respect in society. Upfront it looks like this but I always used to think that they do have desires and aspiration in life. I could never understand the reason for them settling in life just for the sake of family members leaving behind aspiration way too behind in life. Why they have to strangulate their desires and wishes? Why can’t is they be set free to handle family and job together with the way they want. Somehow most of the Indian families never seem to care about it. It hit me hard, very hard since my childhood days. I am not an entrepreneur who took this cause and started promoting them. But I decided I will take care of these minuscule things in my relations with the women.
Fast forward in college I happened to date a girl through the digital channel. That day my thought process was still on track. We got engaged and married. She wanted to work and it was exactly what I expected her to do. Life was going well until a day when I received my transfer letter. Since we were newly married, I requested her to leave the job and stay with me at the new location. Out of love, probably she consented to the request. But wait. what am I doing? Why? I never thought to behave this way. I am probably going the conventional way which I never wanted to follow. Fast forward at the new place, I realise that she is not enjoying her life anymore. She doesn’t like to enjoy with the kid and myself. Perhaps, she was determined to handle both career and family together. My heart knew she was missing her career.
After a year, she was lucky to receive an offer again from a company 1600 Km away from my location. I saw a surge positive energy and happiness in her when she asked me about taking up the opportunity. I was awestruck and I realise she has to live her life. She should never be like my mom who spent all her life in managing the family. Probably my father could not adopt progressive and bold thinking. But I had the chance. Though, I said yes and supported her in relocation along with the kid. I wished her good luck because it was not going to be easy for her with the kid. I am proud of her. Its been two years she is managing it well with the kid. But something was missing from my life. The sense of togetherness. The sense of belonging. I keep longing for the past days to come back which probably will never come because I am a so-called progressive guy. Because I could never understand the true meaning, value and importance of a conservative Indian Family. I think I missed the fun part of the term family.
Though I am proud of supporting her to do whatever she wants to pursue in life. In the process, I lost precious moments of my life with her and my kid. She is capable of taking care of everything except me. She probably doesn’t want to leave a comfortable job and come back to me.
The love among us is still digital and strong but the personal and emotional touch is fading. Every time I speak to people, old scholars still put me in the wrong court posing several questions for my decisions. But hardly they knew that I have gathered the strength to do it after years of practising the thought that I had in childhood. To make women empowered rather than compromising their desires. I hope society will understand one day that Indian women must be treated with respect and should be promoted in their endeavour. Though its mentally and physically challenging for me I still feel being progressive is the way of life in this modern society.
Thanks and Regards
Shashi Kant Sharma